Best Curse Ever
by Laryna6
Summary: Prince Phillip has committed a most terrible crime, and even if he can't protect Aurora like a proper prince, he can at least take his punishment like a man. He may have failed to be her prince, but he's not going to deprive her of the chance to find true love. Except Aurora only survived to adulthood because she had Maleficent and Diaval to bring her tasty things. Like Phillips.


_The dialogue is unnatural here because when people are freaked out they often go ultra-formal as a defense mechanism, and also this is how people talk 'in stories,' and that's absolutely something at play here. I am planning to see the movie again so I'll try to tweak it, but this bunny just demanded to be written, _now_._

_It's not just little _girls _that dream of fairy tales. _

_It was a relief that Phillip wasn't there for the climactic fight. So, a reason why. The 'seven years' thing is an old saying._

* * *

"Um," he said, and visibly steeled himself. "Princess Aurora, I have a confession to make."

"What is it?" she asked.

He looked down, guilty.

"Phillip, please. It can't be worse than finding out that literally everyone I knew had been lying to me for my entire life, and I've forgiven them."

"I, I stole your first kiss!"

"…What?" Aurora asked after a moment. "But we didn't kiss in the forest. Yes, that day was mostly rather upsetting, except for that part, but I'm pretty sure I would have remembered that. I remember wanting to kiss you, but…"

Phillip's eyes brightened: that was good, she liked to see people happy, but then he groaned, the heartfelt groan of someone who had just taken a bite and realized that something that seemed like edible food, the thing she, or he (Aurora was trying to remember that there were people in the world other than Diaval who liked to be referred to as 'he.' She'd thought it was the pronoun for birds, and Diaval insisted on it for the same reason he insisted on being called bird even when he was in the form of an Auntie. Oh, right, they were called _humans_, she needed to remember that now that her Aunties looked like fairies. This was all very confusing.) was, in fact, spiders. When in that moment breakfast was the thing she wanted most in all the world.

Okay, so maybe she was a _little _angry about everyone lying to her for her entire life up until now. It meant that so much of what she knew about the world was wrong, and being a Queen meant she had to learn how everything _really _worked, and fast.

It wasn't that she didn't love her fairy godparents, but she did have to admit that when she was a child, part of the reason she was so happy when they were nearby was that they brought her _food_.

Now she knew that the smell she associated with Maleficent and Diaval was the scent of their feathers, still lingering around Maleficent, but the food the two of them brought her always bore that lingering scent. One of her earliest memories was running up to a person in the woods that looked like an Auntie but smelled _like food_. Since she hadn't seen horns or a collar like that before, she'd wondered if they were edible, and the Auntie that turned out to be a Fairy Godmother lifted her up right away, instead of waving at her for awhile before trying to lift her the way the Aunties did. Clearly, this was an Auntie that was smarter than the average Auntie.

It was a very good thing that she'd found hidden food by tracking the smell of feathers just that morning, or she might have tried to nibble on Maleficent. She really did feel terrible about all the times she'd nibbled on her Aunties. That was very cruel of her, no matter how hungry she was.

"It was when you were asleep," he said wretchedly. "I found myself outside your chamber door, and your fairy godmothers-"

"My aunties," she corrected him. "Maleficent is my Fairy Godmother."

Looking at where Aurora waved her hand in her Godmother's direction, Phillip gulped before carrying on. "They said that I should kiss you, because you were under a curse that needed true love's kiss, and I didn't feel right about it because you were asleep, and then I was worried because you were under a curse, but they insisted that I had to be your true love, and I, I wanted to do it. I must take responsibility for my actions," he said, straightening. "It's every prince's dream to find a beautiful and graceful princess who asks their name and wants to see them again and I thought that we really had a connection, that you might be my true love, and they were _fairies_, they had to know what they were talking about when they said I had to be the one to kiss you, and I, I stole your first kiss. That was supposed to be true love's kiss, but I took it because I wanted to believe. I really wanted to be your true love, but…"

Aurora wished that one of the root dragons would come along wanting to play, because it would be very nice if the ground opened up under her feet at the moment. "My aunties made you kiss me?"

"They were there, but I'm the one that kissed you, so I have to take respon-"

"_My aunties watched my first kiss?!" _

"I am so very sorry, Princess Aurora…" he said, bowing.

"Oh! I'm not angry at you," she said kindly. "You were trying to help me."

"But I _didn't_," he said despondently. "I didn't do anything but take your first kiss and trip over something after they threw me out of your room and give myself a concussion."

"They threw you out of the room and gave you a concussion?"

Phillip stared at her. "Stealing a maiden's first kiss: that's something a _villain _would do! Of course they couldn't allow a blackguard like that in the chamber of a sleeping maiden!"

"Phillip, you're not a villain."

"Well, I'm not a proper prince, either! If I'd slain the dragon for you, then maybe it would have made up for taking your first kiss, but..."

"Oh no! Phillip, the dragon was Diaval. My godfather."

"Oh, well, good," he said, even though it was clear it wasn't really. He sighed. "Maybe it's a good thing I was knocked out. At least I was just incompetent instead of raising a sword to your family to try to take you for myself." It might be something, but it wasn't very much of a something. "But, I had to come tender my apology. And, I must confess, I wanted to see you one last time, even though I have no right to do so. I wish you every happiness with your true love."

"My true… You're leaving?" she said, springing forward.

"I, I like you, Aurora, but you're meant to be with someone else. I can't come between you and that person. I've already stolen your first kiss: I may have failed to do what princes are supposed to do, but I don't want to be the thief that tries to take you for myself when you're meant to be with your true love. Princes are supposed to _stop _bastards like that, not _be _them."

Phillip was going to leave? And not come back later? He'd be out there, trying to be a good prince, and Aurora suddenly felt like a terrible person, because Phillip didn't want to separate her from her true love, and, well. She kind of did want to keep him, even if that might mean separating him from his. Of course she wanted Phillip to be happy, but!

Thank _goodness _for fairy godmothers. She turned to Maleficent and Diaval and gave them her best baby bird look, only without her mouth open since she wasn't hungry this time. Should she make a kiss face to say she wanted that instead? Except no, she couldn't make a kiss face in front of her _godparents! _Her aunties watching her first kiss was bad enough!

"Why don't you run along, beastie?" Maleficent said. "I will handle this."

While Phillip was trying to seem stoic, his eyes had that same panicked _I'm going to die _look she often had facing down one of her aunties' creations. Oh! Since he knew Maleficent was a fairy, she, oh, yes, _he,_ must think Maleficent was an auntie! Aurora patted him on the arm and said, "It's alright, she's a fairy _godmother, _not a fairy," before leaving. Maybe she should go talk to one of the root dragons, just in case she needed swallowing up when she came back.

Maleficent took a step forward, and another step, and he didn't run, even though he really did think she was about to curse him.

So different from the coward who hung back in the bushes until he saw she was a mere girl.

Her first human came as a thief. Aurora's came to ask for directions. At least Phillip was clearly _smarter _than Stephan…

"There is no such thing," she said, slowly and clearly, "as true love. Normally."

"Normally?" he asked her, confused but wanting a reason to hope.

"After I was unable to lift the curse, I racked my brains to remember all the details. One of them was that _everyone who saw her would love her_. I should have thought that through a little better," Maleficent said, although she didn't really seem all that regretful. "I also made True Love's Kiss a condition of my curse. I did that because I knew there was no such thing, but then I sought an end to the curse, and there was only one way for my curse to be dispelled. I thought my magic did nothing, but in fact, I created the counterspell."

"I love her? Really? This is love, even if it's not true love?"

She nodded.

"I mean, I've read about love at first sight, and I certainly liked her as soon as I saw her, but loving someone… the more you know someone, the more you learn to love them, and my mother said that people can't really know whether or not they love someone until they've known each other for seven years, even if my sister says that's just something they tell you so you won't give up hope when you don't love the person you're arranged to marry. My father was going to betroth me to Aurora as a child, but you came in before then. My mother was pregnant with my sister at the time, so she grabbed me and ran before you decided to curse any more princesses. I didn't remember because I was only two, but she sent me a letter along with my father's.

"Not that this is a curse!" he realized. "My sister is going to be furious with her. Does it have to be a Christening gift? Or can you curse a seventeen-year-old princess? My father wants me to marry Aurora to unite our kingdom with her two! I, I've always wanted to be a true prince, a righteous and just ruler, so how could I do something like marry her if I'm not her true love? I already took her first kiss, and he wanted me to steal her hand in marriage when my failure to free her from her curse proved I had no right to it! I might not be Aurora's hero, but I'm not going to lower myself to the level of a villain and hurt her like that no matter how much I love her."

"Diaval _did _think that you were the best candidate for Aurora's true love, so I kidnapped you and brought you to her. I suppose that if I hadn't rushed to bring you to her, I wouldn't have gotten there to break the curse as fast. So you being there was somewhat helpful, I suppose."

"So, the two of you really think Aurora could someday be my true love? Because of you?" He stared at her, amazed. "I knew that you were a powerful fairy, but you can give _true love _as a Christening gift?"

"Why yes," Maleficent agreed, feeling in the mood to preen. "I _am _that powerful."

"Truly, you wield the most powerful magic in all the world…"

"Yes. And not even in your worst nightmares could you even _dream _of what I will do to you if you dare to touch her while she sleeps a second time."

"As her godparent, it's your holy duty to protect her if her parents fail or are not equal to the duty: I know. I saw the body of the man who abandoned Aurora," he told her. "I'm relieved, actually."

"Relieved?" she asked, curious.

"I _tripped and gave myself a concussion! _Do you know how many people are going to be after Aurora, if they think she's a helpless sixteen-year-old raised in the woods with no idea of what bastards royalty really are? If the only way I could protect her from my father was by vanishing so he couldn't track me down and order me to deceive her, what can I do about the kings and queens of a dozen, a hundred other countries? If she needs a protector, that person is _not me! _That was why I had to tell her now, so she could find someone else, but if _you're_ here…" His torrent of words slowed and he looked at her, what he'd said finally catching up with his brain. He blushed.

"Are you related to Aurora's mother?" she had to ask.

"Very, very distant cousins. They checked when they planned the betrothal."

When Maleficent gave him hope that he could be with Aurora in good conscience, he had the same look that appeared on Aurora's face when Maleficent gave her something very, very nice, like raspberries. Maleficent imagined how Aurora was going to look when her fairy godmother gave her a prince.

Yes: the beastie was one of the cutest little beasties there ever was, and Maleficent _was _the reason Phillip might be able to be with her. And if he ever forgot that, and started taking Aurora for granted, there were plenty of cliffs nearby.

* * *

"That bastard's dead and Maleficent has her wings back. Those _wings. _They're even more perfect than I imagined," Diaval said adoringly.

"They are excellent feathers," Phillip agreed, remembering in time not to say 'And I know this because I've trained in archery and shot a lot of birds, sometimes for their feathers.' If animals were people in the rest of the world, and not just the Moors, a lot of laws needed to be made as soon as possible. "They've got a beautiful sheen."

"They can bash right through plate mail." Diaval clasped his hands to his chest and looked like someone visited by the muse. "Even the wings of _swans _aren't a tenth as mighty as hers."

Oh, yes. Bird.

"They break _arms_, her wings break _armies_," Phillip's future godfather-in-law said, almost swooning. "_She's going to let me and Aurora help her preen them_."

That sounded like brushing someone's hair. Brushing Aurora's hair, spun gold wrapping around his hands and maybe tangling around his fingers, maybe refusing to let go, the way Aurora followed after him until she knew that he would be back because she wanted to see him again and… Um. "I see," he said. Yes. Clearly at least some birds were very intelligent creatures.

* * *

"This is... the last... bag," Diaval said, before collapsing onto the pile and beginning to slowly slide down it, triggering a small avalanche of parchment.

"...Perhaps I _shouldn't_ have told him why Aurora woke up even though there used to be no such thing as True Love's kiss," Maleficent said, staring at the small mountain of christening invitations addressed to Maleficent, the Dowager Fairy Queen of True Love.

* * *

_& of course I had to do that last bit. _

_Do not approach nesting swans. Their wings will indeed break your bones._

_I like the idea that Diaval isn't letting Maleficent know that he likes her because he has a good guess as to what happened with Stephan and he doesn't want to remind her of it. Love is self-sacrificing, and not pushing for romantic love means he gets to be near the person he loves and help her. I like the whole 'but not a dog!' thing. Love shouldn't mean that the person in love is expected to give up their pride or boundaries. _

_Aurora is the baby they might have had if she met him first instead of Stephan. Ravens are acquisitive: they like to take the shiny things they see back to their nests and Aurora's hair is shiny, so I'm certain that when she first calls him father or godfather, there was the glee of a successful heist. 'You stole Maleficent's greatest treasure? Well, we've stolen yours, you bastard.' Even if Stephan is too stupid to realize what he lost when he gave them both up._


End file.
